Birth of the 1st Grandchild

She missed it.

We hadn't been speaking . Maybe for a couple of months. There was a blow up about my not being supportive and my selfishness. It was also my fault that she lost her job 3 years ago.

So, she missed the labor and delivery of her first grandchild. Most people, I think, want thier mother's to be there. I was glad she wasn't there. A bit sad at first but moving through the process I knew I was much better off without her. If she had been there I'm sure there would have been a temper tantrum because the focus was not on her. There would have been some dramatic scene. I didn't want this important milestone to be stolen away just like all the others.

I contemplated not calling her. Why should I let her be a part of this experience when she clearly doesn't care? I called the day after he was born. It was the right decision. That's the point I learned to trust my instincts about her, to not let guilt cloud my judgement.

Now I'm pregnant with the 2nd grandchild. She is missing the pregnancy and will probably miss the birth. I'm okay with this. It's for the best. In the current episode, she has stated she doesn't care that I am pregnant, when I asked her why she is treating me this way while I am pregnant. I've stated many times that I cannot handle the added stress right now, it's not safe for the baby. She doesn't care.

I have to protect myself and my family. And I don't feel bad about it. Setting these limits and not letting guilt eat at me is very liberating.